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7

Martian Manhunter (Origin)

The first (but not last!) of sculpts on this list by notorious former WizKids sculptor Lukas Little, this doughy-looking work of the Manhunter from Mars wouldn’t be so bad if not for one funky bit of botched anatomy: his calves! They’re as big as his thighs, maybe a bit larger, and they ruin the whole piece.

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6

Wasp (Avengers 059)

The general sculpt is…okay. It flirts with actually being good, from the neck down. But that head! That FACE! It’s horribad. But while the face is an inexcusable non-paint job, it’s the nubs on the top that push this sorry excuse for Janet Van Dyne onto this list. I mean, where do you get those from this?

Maybe they were attempting to do her needle-thin antennae. Ridiculous to attempt. And plainly unfinished. PUKE!

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5 (tie)

Sersi (Critical Mass)

Somehow, this one comes off as a valiant attempt at the below, but is hindered by being in the Critical Mass set, probably the absolute nadir of sculpting excellence in HeroClix’s 10-year history.

However, that doesn’t explain this poor excuse for the maid of might:

Supergirl (Unleashed)

Again, it’s a valiant attempt. Feeble result.

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It’s October and that means Halloween is coming. This countdown has nothing to do with playability or anything about the dial. It’s all about the wrongest, worst-looking, most misshapen sculpts in all of HeroClix.

10

Validus (Giants)

Taken on his own, big V here doesn’t appear to deserve a spot on the worst list. That is, until you compare him to his comic-book and cartoon depictions:

The ‘clix figure is so skinny. It’s missing some details and it looks like a shark-toothed toddler. At the time, many giants were sculpted slim to fit into boosters, but Val here was in a collector’s set; he didn’t have to be so emaciated from the waist down!

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9

Rogue (Infinity Challenge)

A lot of the earliest ‘clix figures were poor. But this one’s the worst of the set, IMO. Awkward pose, a Butt’erface…there’s nothing flat-out WRONG with her. She’s just…wrong.

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8

Carnage (Web of Spider-Man)

It’s not the worst sculpt, but the huge hands make it unintentionally hilarious instead of terrifying as Carnage should be.

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  Tomorrow, it’s numbers 7, 6 and 5. Things are gonna get UGLY!

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Some time ago, I previewed this team in a F.U.N. Friday installment:

Morgan Le Fay (Chaos War) 122
Crystal (Chaos War) 105
Black Widow (Avengers Movie) 50
+ Iron Man Briefcase 12
+ Secret Avengers ATA 10
=299 points.

Here’s how it did.

Versus Cleveland’s CW Iron Man, Amadeus Cho, Ka-Zar and GF Dr. Strange on the Prison map, my failure to hit, well, anything, pretty much sealed my loss. That and me completely forgetting to use Morgan’s +2 suPerplex! What?!?

Did better in the next game against Tim’s one-man-army of Thanos (Galactic Guardians 049) on the Gotham Narrows. His bad clutch rolls helped me survive just long enough to maintain offensive ability. I think I still forgot Morgan’s suPerplex.

Piece-by-piece:

Morgan Le Fay: She’s a hoss. With her ability to make herself a hard shot either in close or at range as needed, and her suPerplex for fellow Avengers, and her wildcardness, she’s a highly versatile light tentpole. Her weakness is a great top click that you just don’t want to push off. I used her again in a sealed game (went 2-1) and I’ll play her next on a Pet Lovers theme team with Brightest Day Aquaman, DC75 Wonder Woman and Squirrel Girl, among others.

Crystal: Starting with great Running Shot + Psychic Blast ability, she’s a great threat upfront, until she pushes. Then she’s just mean. Super-Quake from range makes her a threat in all kinds of unrivaled ways. She’s very difficult to defend against; if not for her decidedly average numbers, she’d be a contender for the ranks of broken figures. I’ll always use her on an Inhumans team (did so recently, actually…look for a Battle Report on that in a week) and, perhaps, just for her own sake. This is a great F.U.N. piece.

Black Widow: Unlike the last time I ran her, this time the Takedown SP came into play quite a bit. If I’d remembered Morgan’s +2 Perplex, she might’ve gotten some more hits in. Black Widow (any version) is a favorite character of mine, so there’s little doubt she’ll find a spot on a future team.

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Continuing the photographic record of just how each character with the Super Strength power can hold their object token somewhere on the sculpt unassisted.

After my buggy camera ate a nearly complete set of pix from both 10th Anniversary sets, I’ve been slowly trying to reassemble the record. Here’s the seemingly nondescript detective who’s more than he appears to be…John Jones:

He can grip it ever-so-slightly in his right arm as shown. But depending on how your personally owned John Jones is bent, or upon the thickness of your object tokens (as the new ones are about twice as thick), you might be able to use the following alternate hold:

 Mine fits snugly between the fedora and floating Martian profile.

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Some stuff in this game just ain’t fun.

You know the stuff. The powergamer pieces that represent an arms race to ever-more-broken game effects and keep you from playing that ridiculous “Clix With Serious Tail” team-up of Squirrel Girl and Tigra and Beast Boy and Hellboy you’ve been wanting to play. Or that keep you reaching for the same 20 efficient figures because you don’t want to get dragged EVERY week by the other players doing the same.

Ziran the Tester is chief among offenders in this regard.

I suck your fun out with my hands. MY HANDS!

There are a lot of characters and game elements that can punish opponents with solid power combos, huge damage numbers, ease of attacking and staunch defenses. There aren’t many that punish opponents equally for building such into their team or largely leaving same OFF.

Pretty much any team that could conceivably pass all his tests won’t have a prayer of dealing with his Multi-Attacking 13 AV, 5 damage and 20 Impervious first click. Conversely, any team actually built to take on a powerful colossal like him might have its key players nerfed or dead before the game even starts, because said team is unlikely to pass all (or any!) of the tests.

In order to pass them all, a team has to meet these conditions on the opening click:

  1. -Smoke Cloud: No colossal-killing team is going to waste points on this power.
  2. -Force Blast: Same here. It’s just not a power that appears often on powerful pieces.
  3. -Battle Fury: There’s a chance that this might show on a 600-plus team. But it’s not one to build around.
  4. -Energy Explosion: Same here. It’s a power that just kinda shows up and is rarely used by tough figs.
  5. -Mind Control: Trying to MC a big colossal is pretty suicidal. It’s unlikely to be on a team that can fight one.
  6. -5 Team Abilities: With ATAs and multiple team symbols on characters, this condition is easier to meet than others. But by itself it won’t be nearly enough. And if you’re playing a themed team? Forget it!
  7. -5 figures costing 50 points or less: A true colossal-fighting team might have a cheap “pit crew” of supporters to meet this test. Might. But that’s around 200 points of  non-fighting power you can’t really afford to build to face this sort of monster.
  8. -5 Unique rings: With Uniques far less common in the post-REV era, this one could be a bust. It’s certainly not a prerequisite for battling colossals anymore.And really — needing FIVE of all these things? At 600 points, that’s really tough! If I weren’t the F.U.N. guy (emphasis on the F, for Fellowship), I’d want to slap the guy who came up with this requirement.
  9. -Enhancement: This cheap power is actually likely to make it onto a colossal-kill squad, although it’s a little rare. Better hope you get tested on this!
  10. -Leadership: Similarly, Leadership tends to show up on a lot of opening clicks and on a number of tough pieces. 
  11. -Support: It’s not nearly the must-have power it used to be, and healers are kinda rare. 
  12. -Defend: Similarly, top-dial Defend pieces are a little soft to go against the likes of Ziran. A colossal-hunting team needs to be about maximum offense.

Here’s one of the only Modern Age teams that is guaranteed to pass:

Hawkgirl (Brightest Day) (Battle Fury)
Major Glenn Talbot (Incredible Hulk) +  Hulkbusters ATA  (Enhancement, Unique #1, <50pts #1, TA #1)
Empath (Giant-Size X-Men) (MC, <50pts #2, TA #2)
Sgt. Rock (DC 75th Anniversary) (Defend, Leadership)
Astral Dr. Strange (Galactic Guardian 014b) (Smoke Cloud, <50pts #3)
Agent Coulson (Avengers Movie) (Unique #2, <50pts #4, TA #3)
Tarot  (Giant-Size X-Men) (Unique #3, <50pts #5)
S.H.I.E.L.D. Specialist (Captain America) (Support)
Bob, Agent of Hydra (Captain America) (Energy Explosion, Unique #4, TA #4)
Adam Warlock (Galactic Guardian 032) (Unique #5, TA #5)
GCPD Riot Officer (Dark Knight Rises 011a) (Force Blast)

599 points of “Yay.” This team barely has a chance a dealing any damage to Ziran, much less winning.

So what’s a Heroclixin’ fan to do, knowing that in any game of 600 points or higher this colossal killjoy might show up to spoil your F.U.N.?

Answer: Boost the U-factor (Utility and Usefulness) of your otherwise Friendly and Nifty team with the 33-point Donald Blake (Chaos War).

Not only does the good doctor pass one of the tests (Support) and possibly two more (below 50 points, possible ATA), but he also can either A) heal up victims of Ziran’s test penalties or B) absorb  4 of the 6 clicks Ziran doles out upon complete test failure, leaving your more important figures barely hurt, if at all.

Thus Ziran’s effect on your game is blunted. Of course, you’ve still got one of the most powerful colossals in the game to contend with, but at least you’re not at half-strength from the get-go!

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This is a bit of a sneak peek at what I’ll be writing for much of October, the Halloween month. ‘Cause there’s a lot more in HeroClix to be scared of!

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Continuing Heroclixin’s photographic record of Super-Strong figs that can hold objects, again:

The Thing (003) holds his token with the Yancy St. sign. “No hands, Aunt Petunia!” The battle-promoted Green Goblin (018), on the other hand, does use his left hand (his writst, really) to hold the token to his glider!

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Hopefully, this weekend I can get new shots of the pix I lost to my malfunctioning camera, which made me so mad that I started a new feature of stuff I hate about HeroClix. Read my rant tomorrow on how to Fight Fire With F.U.N.

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The Scenario: 300 points of nothing but Alter Egos.

My F.U.N. team: Bruuuuuce!

Bruce Wayne (Dark Knight Rises 202) 80
Bruce Wayne (Dark Knight Rises 003) 60 + Alias 3
Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk 002) 55
Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk 202) 50
Bruce Banner (Avengers Movie 002) 40
+ Iron Man Briefcase 12
= 399 points, plus, of course, alter egos Batman (Dark Knight Rises 201), The Dark Knight (Dark Knight Rises 001), Hulk (Incredible Hulk 001, 043, 201 and Avengers Movie 014 and 202).

FIRST I faced a team of all A.I.Marines, one fitted with a full Gauntlet. That made all my Outwit useless down the stretch, leading to a loss after I rather overconfidently left the 80-point Bruce open to ranged shots (it was the Bridge map) and forcing me to Mastermind damage without being able to effectively retaliate from range myself.

In the SECOND round, I picked Bizarro World against another largely A.I.Marine crew led by General Thunderbolt Ross (Incredible Hulk 208). His Air Strike did little but get me to AE clicks faster. But again my lack of range denied me a lot of attacks, and the few I made were theme-Probbed into misses — and another loss.

FINALLY, I faced an assortment of AEs: Donald Blake, Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk 002), Matt Murdock, General Thunderbolt Ross 029, Rick Jones on Bizarro World again. This time I had figured out how to get the lines of fire I needed. Unfortunately, I got too aggressive with the 40-point Bruce and lost him before transformation, costing me that match as well.

Piece-by-piece:

  • Bruce Wayne (Dark Knight Rises 202): The one piece I’d never run and the tentpole of the team, big Bruce was my main offensive threat with Outwit and 10 AV. He could also Mastermind damage to pals. I depended too much on that in my first game when I should’ve trusted his Batman Ally TA instead. I found myself in an unexpected quandary in the late game more than once: his damage value is HIGHER on his first AE click than on the Batman 201 piece. It was a tough decision to give that up to switch!
  • Bruce Wayne (Dark Knight Rises 003) 60 + Alias 3: His 18 DV + Defend kept me in the first match longer than I had any right to after my non-use of the bigger Bruce’s TA. Never switched to AE, thanks to forgetting to use Alias to possibly avoid a one-turn KO.
  • Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk 002): His Perplex was badly needed by this low-AV, low damage team. But of all the team, this Bruce was the first one to AE every time. Worse, my opponents had little problem rolling doubles to KO Hulk 043 in the first two rounds before he could land a single attack. Disappointing.
  • Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk 202): Yet another Outwitter for the team, this Bruce had the advantage of being able to auto-AE once hit. Unfortunately, Hulk 201 missed his must-land attack (thanks to multiple theme rerolls) and got perforated on the next turn with ease.
  • Bruce Banner (Avengers Movie 002): never got to switch in either Hulk…always KOed too soon or just too late to get to the clicks.

Simply put, this team was just plain outgunned. I’d like to try a different build in the future when we have a new Bruce Wayne to add, or one where I can field the force-shielded Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk 101) for a little more offensive oomph. But I probably ought to keep “Bruuuuce” on the sidelines for tournaments and save it for friendly home games only.

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Continuing the photographic record of just how each character with the Super Strength power can hold their object token (the old ones, anyway. The newer ones found in the Avengers and Dark Knight Rises starter sets might be too thick) somewhere on the sculpt unassisted.

I was hoping to get a mass update featuring nearly all the Super-Strong characters from both 10th Anniversary (Marvel and DC) sets up today. But my squirrelly camera decided to delete those photos along with some of the photos I actually intended to erase before uploading pics from the camera to the computer.

Below is the ONLY photo to survive.

Thing (10th Anniversary 011) holds a token excellently between the asphalt he’s pulling up and his left hand, which is NOT actually attached to said asphalt! Spider-Man (10th Anniversary 003), on the other hand, doesn’t have a great grip on his token. I used a loop of webbing as a hold. Your mileage may vary.

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This camera failure has put me in a mood. After tomorrow’s Battle Report, look for maybe another Token Totin Thursday and then, on Friday, the start of a series about stuff I HATE about HeroClix…and the F.U.N. way to deal with it!

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Played this 600-point theme in a 4-way about four weeks back.

Thundra (Incredible Hulk) 88
Medusa (Incredible Hulk) 82
Spider-Woman (Chaos War 037) 82
Invisible Woman (Chaos War) 80
Wasp (Chaos War 030) 77
Scarlet Witch (Chaos War) 75
Tigra (Chaos War) 57
Wasp (Fast Forces) 50

=591 points. Won map and picked the Dawn of Time with Time Zones, facing a Star Trek Away Team with the LE Mr. Fantastic and Avengers Black Panther to fill points; a New 52 squad anchored by Hawkman, two Green Arrows and some JL Dark folk; and a Hand crew complete with ATA.

Here’s how the figures shook out:

Thundra (Incredible Hulk): Racked up the early kills with KOs of an Arrow and Hawkman (her marked man) in succession. Telekinesis helps her a great deal. She might’ve done even better if not for a late-game misplay pitting her against not one, but TWO figs with Exploit Weakness.

Medusa (Incredible Hulk): The Inhuman queen hardly did more than get an occasional Leadership roll (always apart from her underlings) and take damage. Landed on her glorious Flurry+Blades clicks only to miss badly and get KO’d. A royal disappointment that I hope fares better when I one day run her with her taciturn mate, Black Bolt.

Spider-Woman (Chaos War 037): Her Pheromones SP is clutch. Unlike, say Perplex, which goes away with damage, her stat-modding ability lasts all round. She very much aided Thundra’s early production.

Invisible Woman (Chaos War):  Came soooo close to getting that free heal trait to work. Darn my inattentive placement of Spider-Woman…!

Wasp (Chaos War 030): When this piece showed in the 2012 World Champion match, I was both gratified and unsurprised. She’s fragile as all get out — I lost her in 2 light hits — but can really swing a game your way. I must’ve landed six straight Super Senses rolls. It’s just a shame that she spent virtually 75% of the game tied up by White Tiger and couldn’t back up the rest of my team for the 25% that mattered.

Scarlet Witch (Chaos War): TK, Perplex, PC and Mystics made her the perfect support role player of the ladies. Even her inability to fly proved useful. Expect to see her in a Top Ten list in the future.

Tigra (Chaos War): Her low DV keeps her from absolutely buzzsawing through any game she’s in, including this one. She still racked up more than her point cost tonight.

Wasp (Fast Forces): My mobile Perplex, then Outwit piece. Definitely needed by this sisterhood dealing all-too-ladylike light damage.

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This was a F.U.N. team for sure, with enough juice to challenge all teams — I actually had traction against all thrre other forces — yet with the obvious Neat theme and no unFriendly elements.