Continuing the photographic record of just how each character with the Super Strength power can hold their object token somewhere on the sculpt unassisted.
After my buggy camera ate a nearly complete set of pix from both 10th Anniversary sets, I’ve been slowly trying to reassemble the record. Last time we looked at the unassuming John Jones. Now check out his true form, Martian Manhunter:
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Tomorrow, a rather inhuman team report. Then, on Thursday, another freakish Token Totin’ pic.
One of the least fun things to face in this game is the killbox: a zone of the map in which a player can lay down multiple attacks on a target before the target can counter or pre-empt it. In times past, it was Stealth- and range-heavy teams that could best use this strategy with proper map and positioning. But certain newer figures like Nightcrawler (Web of Spider-Man) have the ability to pull targets directly into said killbox. And two others have the ability to create a killbox from their own starting area!
Thanos (Galactic Guardians 049) is the worst of all.
His Speed SP, “Teleport My Greatest Enemies,” reads thusly:
“Thanos can use Plasticity. Give Thanos a power action and place the two highest point value target opposing characters in squares adjacent to Thanos.”
Um…WHAT? So much for positioning. There’s almost no way to beat this tactic, as Thanos is more than able to weather any counterattacks (assuming you can even mount one after his allies get first shot on you AND Thanos uses his OTHER SP to swap your Speed and AV around).
What can you do?
I can’t draw this out any longer. Here are the top four worst sculpts in HeroClix:
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4
Morgan Le Fay (Critical Mass)
Y’know, she’s supposed to be scary AND beautiful:
I don’t even need to write any more. Just do the side-by-side for yourself.
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3
Green Lantern (Origin)
It’s not an optical illusion. His left leg really is a good 20% shorter than his right. And his left arm is also shorter than the right as well. But, amazingly, from shoulder to fist, that left arm is actually almost as long as his left leg is from hip to heel.
More from the believe it or not department: this is based on an actual comic book panel. I’ve seen it. I wish to heaven I’d grabbed the shot from the blog I spotted it in.
Here’s the question I’d like to ask the sculptor: In a comics universe where you could pick Alex Ross’ or Carlos Pacheco’s or other A-list modern artists’ work as a reference, why would you use a janky bit of rushed Golden Age-era art as a reference?
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2
Umar (Critical Mass)
Again, like Morgan Le Fay in the same set, she’s supposed to be beautiful, if rather scary, too.
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1
Captain America (Avengers 001)
I asked before why this sculptor didn’t use better reference art to do Green Lantern. But considering that the reference for the above monstrosity was this pretty nice splash page:
…well, I guess it wouldn’t have helped.
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Tomorrow: More fighting fire with F.U.N.
7
Martian Manhunter (Origin)
The first (but not last!) of sculpts on this list by notorious former WizKids sculptor Lukas Little, this doughy-looking work of the Manhunter from Mars wouldn’t be so bad if not for one funky bit of botched anatomy: his calves! They’re as big as his thighs, maybe a bit larger, and they ruin the whole piece.
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6
Wasp (Avengers 059)
The general sculpt is…okay. It flirts with actually being good, from the neck down. But that head! That FACE! It’s horribad. But while the face is an inexcusable non-paint job, it’s the nubs on the top that push this sorry excuse for Janet Van Dyne onto this list. I mean, where do you get those from this?
Maybe they were attempting to do her needle-thin antennae. Ridiculous to attempt. And plainly unfinished. PUKE!
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5 (tie)
Sersi (Critical Mass)
Somehow, this one comes off as a valiant attempt at the below, but is hindered by being in the Critical Mass set, probably the absolute nadir of sculpting excellence in HeroClix’s 10-year history.
However, that doesn’t explain this poor excuse for the maid of might:
Supergirl (Unleashed)
Again, it’s a valiant attempt. Feeble result.
It’s October and that means Halloween is coming. This countdown has nothing to do with playability or anything about the dial. It’s all about the wrongest, worst-looking, most misshapen sculpts in all of HeroClix.
10
Validus (Giants)
Taken on his own, big V here doesn’t appear to deserve a spot on the worst list. That is, until you compare him to his comic-book and cartoon depictions:
The ‘clix figure is so skinny. It’s missing some details and it looks like a shark-toothed toddler. At the time, many giants were sculpted slim to fit into boosters, but Val here was in a collector’s set; he didn’t have to be so emaciated from the waist down!
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9
Rogue (Infinity Challenge)
A lot of the earliest ‘clix figures were poor. But this one’s the worst of the set, IMO. Awkward pose, a Butt’erface…there’s nothing flat-out WRONG with her. She’s just…wrong.
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Carnage (Web of Spider-Man)
It’s not the worst sculpt, but the huge hands make it unintentionally hilarious instead of terrifying as Carnage should be.
Some time ago, I previewed this team in a F.U.N. Friday installment:
Morgan Le Fay (Chaos War) 122
Crystal (Chaos War) 105
Black Widow (Avengers Movie) 50
+ Iron Man Briefcase 12
+ Secret Avengers ATA 10
=299 points.
Here’s how it did.
Versus Cleveland’s CW Iron Man, Amadeus Cho, Ka-Zar and GF Dr. Strange on the Prison map, my failure to hit, well, anything, pretty much sealed my loss. That and me completely forgetting to use Morgan’s +2 suPerplex! What?!?
Did better in the next game against Tim’s one-man-army of Thanos (Galactic Guardians 049) on the Gotham Narrows. His bad clutch rolls helped me survive just long enough to maintain offensive ability. I think I still forgot Morgan’s suPerplex.
Piece-by-piece:
Morgan Le Fay: She’s a hoss. With her ability to make herself a hard shot either in close or at range as needed, and her suPerplex for fellow Avengers, and her wildcardness, she’s a highly versatile light tentpole. Her weakness is a great top click that you just don’t want to push off. I used her again in a sealed game (went 2-1) and I’ll play her next on a Pet Lovers theme team with Brightest Day Aquaman, DC75 Wonder Woman and Squirrel Girl, among others.
Crystal: Starting with great Running Shot + Psychic Blast ability, she’s a great threat upfront, until she pushes. Then she’s just mean. Super-Quake from range makes her a threat in all kinds of unrivaled ways. She’s very difficult to defend against; if not for her decidedly average numbers, she’d be a contender for the ranks of broken figures. I’ll always use her on an Inhumans team (did so recently, actually…look for a Battle Report on that in a week) and, perhaps, just for her own sake. This is a great F.U.N. piece.
Black Widow: Unlike the last time I ran her, this time the Takedown SP came into play quite a bit. If I’d remembered Morgan’s +2 Perplex, she might’ve gotten some more hits in. Black Widow (any version) is a favorite character of mine, so there’s little doubt she’ll find a spot on a future team.
Continuing the photographic record of just how each character with the Super Strength power can hold their object token somewhere on the sculpt unassisted.
After my buggy camera ate a nearly complete set of pix from both 10th Anniversary sets, I’ve been slowly trying to reassemble the record. Here’s the seemingly nondescript detective who’s more than he appears to be…John Jones:
He can grip it ever-so-slightly in his right arm as shown. But depending on how your personally owned John Jones is bent, or upon the thickness of your object tokens (as the new ones are about twice as thick), you might be able to use the following alternate hold:
Mine fits snugly between the fedora and floating Martian profile.
Some stuff in this game just ain’t fun.
You know the stuff. The powergamer pieces that represent an arms race to ever-more-broken game effects and keep you from playing that ridiculous “Clix With Serious Tail” team-up of Squirrel Girl and Tigra and Beast Boy and Hellboy you’ve been wanting to play. Or that keep you reaching for the same 20 efficient figures because you don’t want to get dragged EVERY week by the other players doing the same.
Ziran the Tester is chief among offenders in this regard.
I suck your fun out with my hands. MY HANDS!
There are a lot of characters and game elements that can punish opponents with solid power combos, huge damage numbers, ease of attacking and staunch defenses. There aren’t many that punish opponents equally for building such into their team or largely leaving same OFF.
Pretty much any team that could conceivably pass all his tests won’t have a prayer of dealing with his Multi-Attacking 13 AV, 5 damage and 20 Impervious first click. Conversely, any team actually built to take on a powerful colossal like him might have its key players nerfed or dead before the game even starts, because said team is unlikely to pass all (or any!) of the tests.
In order to pass them all, a team has to meet these conditions on the opening click:
Here’s one of the only Modern Age teams that is guaranteed to pass:
Hawkgirl (Brightest Day) (Battle Fury)
Major Glenn Talbot (Incredible Hulk) + Hulkbusters ATA (Enhancement, Unique #1, <50pts #1, TA #1)
Empath (Giant-Size X-Men) (MC, <50pts #2, TA #2)
Sgt. Rock (DC 75th Anniversary) (Defend, Leadership)
Astral Dr. Strange (Galactic Guardian 014b) (Smoke Cloud, <50pts #3)
Agent Coulson (Avengers Movie) (Unique #2, <50pts #4, TA #3)
Tarot (Giant-Size X-Men) (Unique #3, <50pts #5)
S.H.I.E.L.D. Specialist (Captain America) (Support)
Bob, Agent of Hydra (Captain America) (Energy Explosion, Unique #4, TA #4)
Adam Warlock (Galactic Guardian 032) (Unique #5, TA #5)
GCPD Riot Officer (Dark Knight Rises 011a) (Force Blast)
599 points of “Yay.” This team barely has a chance a dealing any damage to Ziran, much less winning.
So what’s a Heroclixin’ fan to do, knowing that in any game of 600 points or higher this colossal killjoy might show up to spoil your F.U.N.?
Answer: Boost the U-factor (Utility and Usefulness) of your otherwise Friendly and Nifty team with the 33-point Donald Blake (Chaos War).
Not only does the good doctor pass one of the tests (Support) and possibly two more (below 50 points, possible ATA), but he also can either A) heal up victims of Ziran’s test penalties or B) absorb 4 of the 6 clicks Ziran doles out upon complete test failure, leaving your more important figures barely hurt, if at all.
Thus Ziran’s effect on your game is blunted. Of course, you’ve still got one of the most powerful colossals in the game to contend with, but at least you’re not at half-strength from the get-go!
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This is a bit of a sneak peek at what I’ll be writing for much of October, the Halloween month. ‘Cause there’s a lot more in HeroClix to be scared of!
Continuing Heroclixin’s photographic record of Super-Strong figs that can hold objects, again:
The Thing (003) holds his token with the Yancy St. sign. “No hands, Aunt Petunia!” The battle-promoted Green Goblin (018), on the other hand, does use his left hand (his writst, really) to hold the token to his glider!
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Hopefully, this weekend I can get new shots of the pix I lost to my malfunctioning camera, which made me so mad that I started a new feature of stuff I hate about HeroClix. Read my rant tomorrow on how to Fight Fire With F.U.N.
The Scenario: 300 points of nothing but Alter Egos.
My F.U.N. team: Bruuuuuce!
Bruce Wayne (Dark Knight Rises 202) 80
Bruce Wayne (Dark Knight Rises 003) 60 + Alias 3
Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk 002) 55
Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk 202) 50
Bruce Banner (Avengers Movie 002) 40
+ Iron Man Briefcase 12
= 399 points, plus, of course, alter egos Batman (Dark Knight Rises 201), The Dark Knight (Dark Knight Rises 001), Hulk (Incredible Hulk 001, 043, 201 and Avengers Movie 014 and 202).
FIRST I faced a team of all A.I.Marines, one fitted with a full Gauntlet. That made all my Outwit useless down the stretch, leading to a loss after I rather overconfidently left the 80-point Bruce open to ranged shots (it was the Bridge map) and forcing me to Mastermind damage without being able to effectively retaliate from range myself.
In the SECOND round, I picked Bizarro World against another largely A.I.Marine crew led by General Thunderbolt Ross (Incredible Hulk 208). His Air Strike did little but get me to AE clicks faster. But again my lack of range denied me a lot of attacks, and the few I made were theme-Probbed into misses — and another loss.
FINALLY, I faced an assortment of AEs: Donald Blake, Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk 002), Matt Murdock, General Thunderbolt Ross 029, Rick Jones on Bizarro World again. This time I had figured out how to get the lines of fire I needed. Unfortunately, I got too aggressive with the 40-point Bruce and lost him before transformation, costing me that match as well.
Piece-by-piece:
Simply put, this team was just plain outgunned. I’d like to try a different build in the future when we have a new Bruce Wayne to add, or one where I can field the force-shielded Bruce Banner (Incredible Hulk 101) for a little more offensive oomph. But I probably ought to keep “Bruuuuce” on the sidelines for tournaments and save it for friendly home games only.