We-Are-Never-Ever-Getting-Back-Together-Lyric-Video-YouTube….getting these changes in HeroClix.

number 9:

THE CONVENTION EXCLUSIVES OF 2012 WILL NEVER BE WIDELY AVAILABLE BEFORE THEY’RE RETIRED

This wish is lower on the list not because I don’t really really want it but because it’s not really THAT far outside the realms of possibility. But if nothing’s been announced by now, I don’t think it’s happening.

A sub-wish of mine is that the Con Exclusives from 2011-12 are NEVER retired. They’re so difficult to acquire that it’d be a shame to ever not be able to play them. And they’re not game-breaking at all, either. But I’m not expecting it.

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number 8:

AUTOPILOT VEHICLES WILL NEVER BE DISALLOWED FROM USING FEATS, RESOURCES, RELICS AND THE LIKE

Vehicles already get a HUGE discount in the point formula, able to have long, long dials for very low cost. They can move freely, immune to tie-up. They can keep a key figure on your team safe as its pilot. They can carry multiple figures that usually can’t be carried, with no speed penalty.

And I know HeroClix doesn’t always make real-world or even comic-book world sense. But VEHICLES ARE NOT PEOPLE. They can’t pick up and wear a Nova Helmet. They can’t wield the Infinity Gems. They aren’t capable of superheroic feats.

They’re just dumb machines — with NO HANDS. Which leads to my sub-wish under this heading: That the Autopilot mechanic for Vehicles just goes away (except as a specific trait for certain “smart” vehicles like the Batmobile).

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number 7:

NO NEW MECHANICS/SALES SCHEMES IN HEROCLIX FOR AT LEAST A FULL TWELVE MONTHS

Since January 2012, we’ve gotten:

Ships

Resource Dials

Relics on the dial (on the Infinity Gauntlet figures)

Replacement Figures

Team Packs

Mass Market Exclusive blind boosters

Characters only found in Fast Forces/Starter/Con Exclusive/Strategy Game form

Tab-Apps

Vehicles

Wild Dials

And now, the imminent introduction of Team Bases and the sealed-only Fear Itself set, all on top of expanded use of Alter Ego, Morph and Battlefield Promotion mechanics.

There are more than enough mechanics in the game. And there’s no need to do any more.

But I know I’m spitting in the wind, here.

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NEXT: The “never ever ever ever” wish list continues.

2006040418101823_20060404_Tuen Mun Trail Sunset-053
Easter Sunday is wrapping up as I write this. It’s a day when we Christians celebrate the greatest change point in human history: the resurrection of Jesus Christ. It transformed disciples on the run into apostles who shook the world and began a faith that, among other things, ended the slave trade in its regions (eventually).
What’s it got to do with Heroclixin’? Well, it’s a change that was, humanly speaking, impossible. And there are some changes in HeroClix I’d like to see that are as impossible in their way, too.

I may want these changes in the game, but I will probably never, ever see them.

This is different from the Top Ten Needed Changes article from late 2011. Those are fixes that not only are simple and would enhance the game, but also have been at least partially implemented (see Outsiders TA and, to an extent, Event Dials).

I’m also not talking of things that aren’t quite right now that could easily — and likely will — be changed within the next few months, such as making “assassin” a generic keyword or a Heroes For Hire ATA or finally getting more clix versions of Generation X.

 

No, I’m talking stuff that’s pipe dream material, that would involve radical shifts in the point formula or wholesale errata on multiple character cards or entire keywords — things just short of the idea of one perfect man taking on the sin of the entire world.
In short, these changes in HeroClix would require no less than God Himself to make reality. And this game frankly isn’t that high on His priority list.

And here’s number 10:

MIND CONTROL WILL NEVER BE CHANGED TO A 3d6 ROLL.

This was a proposed fix in the Needed Changes article because, thanks to all the myriad ways that the expensive cyan speed power can fail, Mind Control is almost never a better choice to use instead of a standard attack unless the MCer is really weak on damage. The fact that so frequently, now, Mind Control is customized in special powers and traits only underscores the standard power’s uselessness.

But the emergence of prime figure Brother Voodoo puts the kibosh on this. Being able to attempt a MC every single turn is plenty good enough, especially as his brand of the power is the ONLY option he has to use it. The ability to roll three dice and then pick the best two would utterly break the character and, by extension, quite possibly the game.

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NEXT: The “never ever ever ever” wish list grows.