Seriously, it seems I’m always pulling them out. Maybe it’s because even though I tend to try teams that are more comic-accurate than not, their membership has shifted around so much that practically any configuration feels more than plausible.

Maybe it’s because I have yet to use all the available characters to the theme. (I just recently reacquired, for example, One Who Knows, the Limited Edition version of Starhawk.)

Maybe it’s just because I like the title so much; writers Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning’s work has so improved since their days on the Legion of Super-Heroes (where they started out superb and petered out to a mediocre end).

Maybe it’s because two of the main members made my Top Ten HeroClix of 2009 list, and I like for my theme-y teams to be at least a little competitive.

Or maybe it’s because I love Phyla-Vell so much, even though she did NOT make the Top Ten list.

Perhaps the biggest reason lately is probably the double-fisted cosmic FAIL I had with the team recently.

Whatever the reason, they tend to hit my table (or at least my planning pad) on any build total over 400 points.

SCENARIO: 700 points, 50% Floor Hammer of Thor:

V Starhawk 144 + Spotter 5
Phyla-Vell 138 + Protected 8
Star-Lord 90 + Contingency Plan 12 + Inside Information 4
E Vance Astro 70 + Ambidexterous 16
Rocket Raccoon 65
Yondu 53
R Aleta 51
Bug 44

= 700 points.

I found myself facing, first round, this team:

Yeah, pretty daunting. He won map and picked the Lab. This caused problems:

1) Not much room to use my several ranged attackers.

2) I put a Dynamostat in a spot that’d hinder eventual Running Shots as effectively as it might’ve slowed down Thor & Loki.

3) I failed to tie up the big duo opponent with the 44-point Bug, allowing them to rather freely beat my 138+ point heavy hitting into near-death (again, thanks to the close quarters). Game-breaking FAIL, there.

I managed to KO four of the five Warriors and Sif, but lost Phyla-Vell, Yondu, Vance Astro, Bug, and Star-Lord. 0-1.

2nd match was against a young lad running

I picked the Junkyard. This was a careful tactical match where I was oh-so-careful to keep all adjacent for the Resistance BFC. The Spotter feat was invaluable to help shots on Thor while the hindering terrain kept Balder out of the fight. Having learned my lesson in the earlier game, I totally used Bug to keep Odin occupied long enough to lay enough damage on Thor to send the thunderer running. But although run he did, I was able to chase him down in the end for the win, adding him to the Asgardian Warrior I’d notched earlier. I’d lost Bug, Yondu and Rocket. 1-1.

Finally I faced judge Brian on his Asgard map:

I scored an early crippling shot on his Phyla that set the game inexorably in my favor. Although I took plenty of damage, having:

• a medic in Starhawk,
• Prob Control in Rocket (which absolutely saved Star-Lord, mid-game) and
• the Defenders TA shoring up the woundeds’ DVs deep into the game (which made Brian’s mediocre die rolls miss more than not)

made the difference. Wiped his whole team and lost none.

WIN/LOSS: 2-1. You’d think I’d be satisfied with that record, especially after the terrible mental error of failing to use a tie-up figure as just that. But no, I wasn’t.

Not after I realized I’d COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN TO RUN ROOKIE ALETA ALL NIGHT LONG.

The presence of a figure that not only bears the Telekinesis power, but Barrier as well would have TOTALLY changed the complexion of the Thor & Loki fight, giving me first strike options, a chance to avoid retaliation, or to pull the wounded out for healing…

Already outgunned by far, I was playing with a handicap even greater than her 51 points represented.

So when I learned my next tournament was 500 points, this was the team I fielded, ready to redeem my bad performance:

= 500 points. Trying out the team’s alternate team ability. It hurts the normally Power Cosmic Phyla-Vell a bit, robbing her of her pushing ability, but frankly, pushing to her Hypersonic clicks might be worth it.

FIRST faced Vic on the Space map: Scientists Mr. Fantastic (Secret Invasion) + Brilliant Tactician, Hulkbuster, Living Laser, Rip Hunter.

He played Disruption while I placeholdered. Scored an early hit on Living Laser with Star-Lord. But that was the extent of my KOs while Mr. Fantastic boosted all others to top form, costing me Bug, Star-Lord and the Major. Disruption truly, truly cost me as it kept me from attacking much at all. I really should have killed that card with my theme team cancel (which I ended up not using at all). Another big fat tactical FAIL. 0-1.

THEN I faced Lenny, again on the Space map: Marvel Knights Power Man & Iron Fist, Daredevil (Hammer of Thor), Elektra (Secret Invasion), Shang-Chi, Cloak & Dagger (Secret Invasion).

I used a similar strategy as last time, since it was the BFC that beat me more than anything. The Accelerator gave Star-Lord another quick strike to nerf Elektra and Shang-Chi early on. He paid dearly, getting clocked hard by Power Man and Iron Fist within an inch of his life. Fortunately, I’d declared he’d take Combat Reflexes knock back and, even more fortuitously, the path took him directly between his teammates and out of retaliatory range.

I used Bug to tie up DD, Cloak & Dagger and Elektra from taking shots at Rocket on the building, but I mis-positioned, giving Power Man & Iron Fist easy Charge access to him. Bug still ate up seven attack rolls before going down — mission accomplished.

Now Lenny tried to hunt down Star-Lord trying to heal on the Vine, but Aleta was able to jank him away with TK back to my starting area, and then again to the back of the map when DD chased him further for a “saved by the bell” win having KO’d Elektra and lost only Bug. 1-1.

FINALLY I faced young Donovan (last seen here in the Runaways battle royale) on the Days of Future Past map; he ran Thor (Hammer of Thor), Malekith, Heimdall.

He’s gotten better with the rules and came close to beating me thanks to several Super Senses hits with Heimdall. But once I concentrated fire on Thor, I was able to wear him down and got both the Asgardians, losing Star-Lord and Bug for my part.

WIN/LOSS: 2-1. Again, I come away unsatisfied, because I played with such a handicap in the first round by letting Disruption stand. Sure, I hoped to save my cancel for a more injurious card, but really. Another FAIL, another pointless loss.

Phyla-Vell 138 + Protected 8
One Who Knows 123 + Protected 8
Star-Lord 90 + Contingency Plan 12 + Alias 3
Rocket Raccoon 65
R Aleta 51

FIRST round was again against Vic. He had a pretty min-maxed team of Phyla-Vell and Kurse + Lunge with AA Zoom and Moonstone, most with In Contact With Oracle (ICWO) equipped. I picked the BPRD water map to slow down Zoom. Can’t recall what BFC I used, if any.

So, let’s see. I’m playing Guardians of the Galaxy again, right? So it must be time for another cosmic FAIL.

This time, after picking the water map for the express purpose of keeping Zoom from using Hypersonic Speed to Flurry me, I fly One Who Knows and Aleta both to land, where a taxied Zoom could easily use Hypersonic Speed to Flurry One Who Knows for an immediate crippling.

Seriously. Why did I DO that? I just don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Shorn of my main hitter, I got wiped. No KOs. 0-1.

SECOND round. I faced Lenny on his Avengers tank base map and his stupid stealth team of Captain America (Hammer of Thor) + Thunderbolts + Contingency Plan, Daredevil (Hammer of Thor) + Stunning Blow, Gamora + Protected, SI Iron Fist + Lunge and at least 4 Hand Ninjas. I opted not to use my theme team cancel, letting his Deep Shadows stand, reasoning that it’d force Cap to come close instead of hiding behind the tank. What I didn’t hear the very soft-spoken Lenny say was that Cap was picking Batman Ally via Thunderbolts. Helloooo, perma-Stealth.

So. I only had two legal targets at any given time with my range-focused team, and both were kept well behind a Stealth wall. And then, thanks to a C.Plan boost to Daredevil’s range, Aleta got hit off Telekinesis, killing my team’s ability to actually reach said targets. Thanks to my self-imposed utter inability to actually, y’know, FIGHT, I lost all but Phyla and KO’d none.

FINAL: 0-2. Not one, but TWO huge FAILs, and one a total repeat of the one before (failing to use the themed team BFC cancel).

“Disgusted” isn’t strong enough a word. My performance makes me want to puke on myself. Heck, I’d be less disgusted if other people puked on me.

Therefore, I build one more GotG team, for a 900-point tournament:

V Starhawk 144 + Spotter 5
Phyla-Vell 138 + Protected 8
LE One Who Knows 123
Star-Lord 90 + Protected 8
V Major Victory 84 + Contingency Plan 12
Rocket Raccoon 65
Yondu 53 + AP 10
R Aleta 51
Bug 44
+ Warbound (Guardians of the Galaxy) 45
Lila Cheney 6
Lila Cheney 6

=900 points. I have just one opponent: Lenny and his Sinestro Corps:

Superman Prime 318 + Fortitude 25 + Protected 8
SR Sinestro 146
Arkillo 126
Lyssa Drak 72
Amon Sur 70
Yellow Lantern 65
AA Manhunter 64

I picked the Danger Room outdoor map to make sure I could best use my range advantage. But Lenny found a way to bunker up really well and give his crew a safe zone to TK from. I still got early (though unsuccessful) shots on Yellow Lantern to remove the Defend threat. Wasted several theme PCs trying to get Yondu’s Armor Piercing Energy Explosion to land and tag Yellow Lantern, Arkillo, Amon Sur and Superbrat clustered together. Finally had to push to do it.

Meanwhile, Phyla got crithit by Sinestro, and I didn’t bother to Protect the shot away, preferring her Hypersonic Speed to her Perplex. That was a mistake.

What wasn’t a mistake was One Who Knows flying to cover her, Warbounding the token to his taxied pal Rocket Raccoon, then attacking Sinestro from 12 squares out (thanks, Contingency Plan!) next turn and using Barrier to defend the pushed Yondu incessantly with Warbound.

Lenny wasn’t taking another shot from Starhawk AND One Who Knows. TKing Arkillo, he Charged (and missed) Starhawk, safely out of the PCers’ line of fire. But there he’d stay, failing breakaway rolls again and again.

After taking another Energy Explosion from Yondu, Superbrat was pinged off HSS and had to make a TK-assisted Charge on me, forcing Star-Lord to burn Protected. Phyla pushed to HSS Superbrat for 4, but that left her way open to his successful break away to ChargeFlurry her to death (with Protected unusable) and Star-Lord deep into his dial. That left Superbrat pushed…and vulnerable to a swarming KO, unable to use Protected!

Sadly, I went one missed attack from achieving that easy KO.

Lenny kept taking shots to KO Star-Lord (who, with his bare 17 DV, was definitely the easiest shot to take) while I kept trying to finish Superbrat and Sinestro (who’d joined him), leaving Star-Lord open to these shots. Eventually, the sheer number of die rolls got Superman Prime to KO (Bug, TKed by Aleta, scored the winning shot) and One Who Knows finally taxied Star-Lord to the safety of hindering terrain before his luck ran out.

From there it was clean-up, as Lenny’d lost pretty much all his hitters. Amon, Yellow and Lyssa were all now wounded and Arkillo couldn’t break away ever. Wiped the Sinestro Corps and lost only a Lila, a Protected feat and Phyla.

I may give it a rest for a while, now. But don’t be surprised if you see them in this space again soon. This record should be a bit better…or, at least, I shouldn’t be so at fault for the losses.

LESSONS LEARNED from this less-organized continuation of the Guardians of the Galaxy campaign:

• Warbound on One-Who-Knows and Rocket Raccoon and Aleta and Bug is pretty broken. It’s a good thing the feat eats up so much point room.
• Use my stinkin’ theme team BFC cancel if the enemy’s BFC hurts me even a little. Does no good to save it for later if I never win into the later rounds!
• Pick my terrain carefully and use it correctly. I did this horribly on the water map and pretty well in the last game.
• Remember that Stealth is no help against Pulse Wave! I forgot this in the Deep Shadow’d match.